Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
