OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
