guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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