id be glad to
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
