Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
