There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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