why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
