My sheets look like a crime scene.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
do nipples grow back?
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