I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
