Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
