My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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