He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
