yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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