You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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