I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Two words: blizzard sex
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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