I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
