i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
