To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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