I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
