we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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