I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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