When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
