haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
