His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
