Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
