You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Plan B is the new Plan A
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
