I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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