just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
