Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
