I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
