so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
