They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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