I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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