what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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