Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
