You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
