Im at strip club and am horny
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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