if i died would you start the facebook group?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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