I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
