i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
