At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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