do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
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