'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
