Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
