So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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