yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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