My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
