...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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