Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
