I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
