I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
