wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i came on her dog
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
