I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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